Riku's Birthday!
by Driger Kid
Summary: I'ts Riku's birthday! It's ben three days since Riku and Sora got back from the realm of darkness and Kairi wants to throw a party for Riku since they missed. Bit of a crack fic please review. Warning: Story contains flying hotdogs
1. Chapter 1

DK: This is my first fic so please review. Also I'm FLAMEPROOF! Take that stupid Flamers! Sorry that it's a bit short. P.S. I don't own Kingdom Hearts! If I did I'd be very rich.

Riku's Birthday!

It had been three days after Sora and Riku had gotten back from the realm of darkness when Kairi had brought it up. The three Friends were sitting on the small island when… "Riku." "Yes Kairi" "I just realized that I've never seen you celebrate your birthday"

That's when Sora fell of the tree. "Kairi" said Sora. "There is a reason we don't speak of Riku's parties, and why he doesn't have anymore parties" he said in a cryptic voice, "A dark and horrible reason." "Shut up Sora" Riku said, "If anyone tells Kairi it's gonna be me. I t all started fifteen years ago on my first birthday."

_**FLASHBACK!!!**_

Riku was a small kid at the beach with his parents with a small birthday cake when all of a sudden, _AGIANTWHALECOMESOUTOFTHEWATERANDEATSHIM!!!! _

_**END FLASHBACK!**_

"Riku," Kairi asked, "How the _Hell! _Am I supposed to believe that you spent your first birthday inside the stomach of a _Freaking Giant Whale?!_ "His parents took pictures!" Sora yelled stupidly. "Just look at them Kai." He said as he pulled them from his pocket. "This picture is really good funny." Sora said, showing a picture of Riku in the fetal position, under a large pile of half-digested fish, while his parents lead a rescue team inside the whale.

"Err… Sora?" "Yeah Kai" "Why are you carrying those?" "_I'm not selling them for large sums of money!"_ Yelled Sora guiltily. "_You bastard!" _Exploded Riku, "So you're the one stealing pictures from my safe. How the hell did you open it in the first place?" "Duh, keyblade." Sora said this as if it were the simplest thing in the worlds, actually when you think of it, it is. "_Sora I'm going to kick your ass!"_ "Sayonara sucker!" Sora cried running as fast as he could toward the boats. "Come back here you idiot!"

Kairi was now all alone while The Stupid Brothers were fighting over the pictures. "Huh…" Kairi sighed as the sun set "I'm going to need a lot of ice-cream and therapy after this."

DK: Hope you liked it more coming soon and please review. Advice is welcome.


	2. Icecream & Therapy

Driger Kid here, my story will probably update once or twice a week so please review. Also, I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Ben & Jerry ice-cream.

The sun had set over Destiny Islands when Kairi had reached home and had settled down on her couch with a carton of Cherry Garcia and her remote watching Dr. Phil. "Now say it with me I am a scumbag," Dr. Phil said while treating another man who seemed to have problems, "I am a scumbag" "Good, well that's all the time we have for today folks and remember men are dumb and women are smart." Dr. Phil said in his southern accent. Kairi's face settled into a look of approval, "That's telling him Dr. Phil! I swear he's the best." _Ring, Ring_, t'was Kairi's home phone, _Ring Ring, _"Hello?" "Kairi is that that you?" Riku said in a sob, "Riku are you crying?" "No!" "Riku it sounds like you were repeatedly whacked inthe nards, now tell me are you crying?" "Yes I am and it's because I was repeatedly whacked in the nards!" Riku whined, "Are you okay?" "Hell no! I'm sitting here with an ice pack between my legs!"

"Well… wait a second I have another call, Hello?" "Hey Kai its Sora." "Sora I'm putting you on three-way." "With who?" "Why Riku of course! " "Sora you bastard!" "Hi Riku." "Guys what happened?" "Well I was chasing Mr. Keyblade Master here for those photos when he decided to go whack Riku Jr. with a _stick!" _"Sora!" "Stop bitching Riku t'was only a gentle tap." "I'll show you a… wait, do you just say t'was?" "Yes." "As in the old English word t'was?" "Yes Riku, I did." "Guys get back to the story!" "Sorry Kai." The guys said in unison. "The point is Sora is an ass, my nards burn and I'm now I'm watching Dr. Phil!" "Oh my gosh!" said Kairi "Me too!" "Dr. Phil?" Sora scoffed "What kind of self-respecting man watches Dr. Phil? I'm watching Oprah!" Sora shrieked in a girlish manner. Kairi and Riku sweat-dropped anime style. "Yeah, Sora, Kairi I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Okay Riku…Sora don't tell Riku but I need your help throwing him a surprise party. I know that he doesn't want one but this time it'll be different." "Whatever Kai, I just one to see him freak out like at his second birthday party."

_**FLASHBACK!**_

Riku is sitting in his grassy backyard when **_hefallsintoagianthole. _**"Where am I?" Riku said in his little toddler voice, when an army of large moles shows up behind him, "You're in the underground city of the mole people, and we're _going to eat you!" _It said as it bared rows of large and pointy fangs. Riku then proceeded to wet himself.

_**END FLASHBACK!**_

"Sora, how the hell am supposed to believe that!?" "Riku's dad has one of the moles heads as a centerpiece in his trophy room, which you have never been in on account of you being afraid of dead things." "Oh, well see you tomorrow Sora, and if you tell Riku I'll kick you in the nards too." As Sora and Kairi hung up their phones little did they know that Riku had been listening the whole time, "I knew it, I must stop at nothing to avoid the party, nothing!"

The chapter is kind of weak but it's just to bridge that plot gap. If anyone has any ideas for horrible things that happened to Riku in past parties put them in your review.


	3. Hiatus

Dear Readers this is Driger Kid and I'm afraid that I'm going to have to put Riku's

Birthday on hiatus. I just haven't been able to think of good ideas for the story. I will start to work on my other story which is kingdom hearts and will be a adventure/humor//general. It's going to be called Kingdom Hearts: An Interworld Epic everything in underlines is the title. Hopefully I'll write material for Riku's Birthday while writing my other story. See you and please read the other story when it comes out.


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